Nawal Needs More: Why A Blog?

I have a diary. I have Facebook. Why would I need a blog.

As cheesy as I have made myself sound in that tiny part of introduction about me, yeah, because I like to ramble.

I can ramble my heart out in my diary, it's my personal space, no one's gonna judge me for whatever I write in her.

As much as it cures me off by writing all those things running in my head, there's somehow something missing.

Yerp...MY diary, as the name suggests, is personal and not to be shared

HOWEVER...

When I read about something, I want to share. When something bad happened that day, I want to share. When something good happened that day, I want to share. When I see something funny I want to share. When I'm angry, I want to share. When I'm in doubts, I want to share. When I'm feeling down, I want to share. When some thing bugs me, I want to share. When some thing inspires me, I want to share. I guess its the big family factor, sharing makes up a significant big part of me.

I've rambled enough, shared my thoughts and feeling enough, too much sometimes in Facebook. The not so fun thing about sharing it in there, is when people who know you (or think that know you) read anything you write in there, they may sometimes get clouded by the previous impressions they have on you. And so in retrospect, when I write things in there, I have succumb to the desire to make an impression too.

When I write something that went wrong that day, they would say I'm careless. When I write something that caused me to feel down, they would think I'm hopeless. When I write some dreams I aspire to achieve, they would think I'm unattainable, when I write my thoughts on guys, it becomes a subject of scorn, when an unmarried lady talks about thoughts on marriage, it becomes annoying, when I make myself strong, they think I'm being a smart ass. When I make myself gullible, they make me think I'm craving attention. I know...I know...I think too much and now I'm rambling.

But there are times too when a lot of people read my status updates and think I'm too cute and lovable and my stories are some times, readable with a smile :)

And there are people who fell in love with me (or thought they fell in love with me) after reading some of my life events...Hehe.

Yeah, my facebook has become too much of a display. As much as I need to share my thoughts, I know I need to respect other people's feeling. It would be awkward, when I write some things in there, especially the not so-sweet-or-cute-lovable ones, he / she might get that sting on the tail. Yeah, I've to admit, sometimes those stings are intended, but sometimes the consequences doesn't really make those thoughts shared, much worth it. Relationship will get stinky, friendship may turn sour, and a love chance may blow apart in shatters. And once its out, its out.

I've probably started this first post in a wrong tone. Hehe...Yeah, I've made a statement, rain makes funny things to me, these are one of those retrospective moments when writing in a diary is not much of a help.

I am a lady who needs to be reassured everyday. And as strong as I try to be, I need to be reassured by someone. Yet as fragile as my feelings can get, I'm too proud to ask for someone to provide those much-needed reassurance. That's the time when a random browsing of a random word in the internet can sometimes lead me to some random words of inspiration by a stranger. Sometimes, they make me smile, sometimes they make me go "hey, that's exactly what I thought, but never had a word for that!", sometimes they provide those calm soothing words, sometimes they make me go "I always thought I'm the only one who do / think like that!", sometimes they speak right to my heart, and even if I wasn't being physically or verbally reassured, I do feel sometimes, somehow better.

And a word of reassurance from a stranger, are sometimes a great cure, for they provide you those reassurance without judging you :)

That's why I choose to blog. Who knows, while having more freedom to share my thoughts, I may inspire a random stranger too :)